Someone Buy This House!

I never stop looking at real estate. It’s like a sick, addicting fetish except you don’t get in trouble at work for looking at Trulia. I often find insanely cool places, exceptional deals, or houses with tons of potential. Since I can’t buy houses as easily as I can buy shoes (luckily), I decided to at least write about these places on here.

Someone needs to buy this house! From the looks of it, it’s really amazing and so cheap! 2400+ sq feet, water access, mature landscaping, hot tub, almost 5 acres, sounds too good to be true (and maybe it is)

It’s cute from the outside, built in 1965, it’s got a little bit of a late mid-century vibe that you could play up. There’s great mature landscaping. Looks like there’s a path down to the river. The property looks quite private, which is great if it’s just off of Route 32. Plus there’s a chicken coop and a hot tub!

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The inside isn’t bad at all. The main living space looks nice and open, nice fire place, great floors. It just needs some of the overly plush furniture swapped out for clean modern lines.20151129-residential-1x0fnta-oThis bedroom looks huge! Exposed rafters and skylights give the space some architectural interest, which I’m sure is wasted on the children that get to live here. 20151129-residential-10hpiie-o-2These doors are pretty awesome. Not a big fan of the black and white floor, but you could live with it. The arched window is pretty great too, lots of interesting little details. 20151129-residential-nk3434-oHere’s another ginormous bedroom! This is is the master bedroom (based on the other pics) You could really have a nice master suite here, just have to get rid of all the baby stuff. PS- Kids ruin everything
20151129-residential-1id4v7n-oThe kitchen is definitely lacking, but really isn’t bad. The counter tops look nice, the cabinets and back splash are neutral, the appliances look upgraded, the layout and size are nice. Something just isn’t clicking though. Maybe you could paint the lower cabinets, swap out some light fixtures and make it all work for minimal effort. 20151129-residential-1xdavb-oBest for last! Check out this sun room. In my book, this is drool worthy. That hex floor tile is amazing, the view of the woods and the yard. It’s such a great space, it needs a cow hide rug and a day bed with lots of pillows and I’d live there forever. 20151129-residential-c7uisi-o

For only $200k, this house is either an insane steal and someone needs to buy it immediately, or it’s under a highway and always smells like farts. Someone needs to go check it out!


The Ugliest House

House hunting this weekend was great. Ulster County is like 1000X prettier and classier than Sullivan County (suck it Sullivan County, you broke-down whore!) But with my budget, I fall more into the broke-down-whore category than the classy (especially after those last two sentences)

I did meet and fall in love with the UGLIEST house there ever was…. that might be an exaggeration, but it was pretty bad. The pics below prove my point. Yes, that’s a bug zapper…. in the living room*


*there were no bugs anywhere to be seen


Okay, okay, that gold sculpture in the corner is kinda fabulous, but look at that carpet. ImageSo, the inside looks pretty bad. Honestly it’s mostly because an 80 year old little jewish woman that my Dad was hitting on lives there and she has the most hideous possessions known to man, and that really sullied the spectacular vista that was this house.

But, I am Richard Gere, and I think I could Pretty Woman the shit out of this place. It’s got great property, great location, Sawkill Creek is behind the house (and how bad-ass is the name SawKill) and frankly, the house is adorable. Plus there’s a brick two car garage that’s just waiting to be converted to something awesome.

ImageImageSo, let’s see if this one works out, or ends in frustration and heartbreak.